Evening! I am currently bit by bit upgrading my wardrobe. Gone will be the days when I wore T shirts and blue jeans...except on Sundays of course! Now you will see me creeping around Filene's Basement looking for beautiful Ralph Lauren shirts and fresh pressed trousers. Currently, my new Steve Madden shoes gained their first miles, and tomorrow I will pop my clogs on my new black Rockports.
Oh dearrr, has olde Robert gone vain? Well, let me tell you one thing, I do love my new clothes. I am starting to discover the feeling of looking dignified, and that is very important because:
1. I know I am not a tzaddik and thus I need to feel good about myself.
2. Good clothes make me feel good.
3. When I feel good, I automatically want to make other people feel good.
4. I am smiling, I am more pleasant to be around
5. Mitzvah observance, actually gets much much easier when I am happy!
6. I serve Hashem much better.
Hmm, maybe gashmiut, good physical living helps kick the neshamah into action, just like you need a battery and a nice starter motor to get the Ferrari or the Rolls started!
Im not advocating blowing huge gobs of cash on clothes. Nowadays, you can get fantastic clothing at Filene's Basement, Macy's, and DSW Shoes for a fraction of the cost you would get at boutiques. I havent finished yet, I have plans to get more trousers and some nice suits, IY"H. I pray to Hashem that He finds me some great sharp clothes at excellent low prices so that I will be able to serve Him and my fellow people with an expansive and smiling heart!
I should have some nice pictures of my Chanukiah in action soon. Keep your seatbelts fastened!
Monday, December 18, 2006
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Shalom Bayit Speech
It's a beautiful day in DC, after the cold start, we end with beautiful sunny skies and nice spring-like temperatures.
Hmm, this is kind of like me at times, I wake up and feel so grouchy and grumpy. However as the day rolls on, I break out in a smile, and am grooving along!
Now there are times when we are feeling either sad, vulnerable, scared, or just plain tired. We do our thing, and for some odd reason, we cause one of our friends or loved ones to criticize us.
Now we all know that criticism does not work. For people who are reading Dale Carnegie, and keeping an intense Torah learning, those guys especially understand the futility and destructive nature of criticism. Even scoundrels like Al Capone considered themselves "public benefactors who are not appreciated for what they are".
Therefore, the next time somebody says SOMETHING to you that makes you want to retalliate, consider saying this to them instead:
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I’m sorry. I have to say that I am feeling very upset.
I just cannot talk to you right now, not because I dislike you, rather I am not thinking properly and the issue can degenerate into a competition where the most important thing for me is victory at all costs! Therefore, any further points on your part, no matter how beneficial they are, will just make me more aggressive and stubborn!
I need to go away and calm down. When I am myself again, I will be more than happy to talk with you, and discuss the issue together!
Thank you.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Feel free to copy and paste this text. If you wish to modify it, that would be good too! Carry a copy around with you, and when the tomato flies, hand the 'tomato-thrower' this nice note. You'll be happy you did!
I bless you all with tons of Shalom Bayit!
Hmm, this is kind of like me at times, I wake up and feel so grouchy and grumpy. However as the day rolls on, I break out in a smile, and am grooving along!
Now there are times when we are feeling either sad, vulnerable, scared, or just plain tired. We do our thing, and for some odd reason, we cause one of our friends or loved ones to criticize us.
Now we all know that criticism does not work. For people who are reading Dale Carnegie, and keeping an intense Torah learning, those guys especially understand the futility and destructive nature of criticism. Even scoundrels like Al Capone considered themselves "public benefactors who are not appreciated for what they are".
Therefore, the next time somebody says SOMETHING to you that makes you want to retalliate, consider saying this to them instead:
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I’m sorry. I have to say that I am feeling very upset.
I just cannot talk to you right now, not because I dislike you, rather I am not thinking properly and the issue can degenerate into a competition where the most important thing for me is victory at all costs! Therefore, any further points on your part, no matter how beneficial they are, will just make me more aggressive and stubborn!
I need to go away and calm down. When I am myself again, I will be more than happy to talk with you, and discuss the issue together!
Thank you.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Feel free to copy and paste this text. If you wish to modify it, that would be good too! Carry a copy around with you, and when the tomato flies, hand the 'tomato-thrower' this nice note. You'll be happy you did!
I bless you all with tons of Shalom Bayit!
Monday, December 11, 2006
If I forget thee o' Jerusalem....
Good morning. I just cannot believe that the Israeli government are negotiating with the Vatican over Mount Zion again! We are starting to give away our prize jewels, King David's Tomb over to the Church, G-d forbid!
Now I am definately for peaceful negotiations, and brother getting along with brother. However there must be a condition: We behave in a civilized manner and we recognize our territory. I heard one man say "Be master of your territory!" Well the Israeli government (more like junta or oligarchy) is anything but the master of it's territory. In girlish cease-fires, appeasing in a whiny way to America and Europe, and kicking Jews out of their rightful places, the government has no control.
Now comes the big daddy of them all: giving our territory to the Vatican.
Hmm, look the Church has tons of territory. Just go to the Vatican and see all the marvels, all the gold and silver they own! And they come salivating on OUR land, OUR city?
Hmm, how about a UN demand stating that Great Britain must give Westminster Abbey to the French, or America must give the Alamo back to the Mexicans?
Political writing is not one of my talents! And yet, I feel obligated to do my best to defend the honour and glory of our beautiful city, Yerushalayim!
Do anything, give an extra cent or dollar, euro, or yen to charity and say "Im doing this for Yerushalayim." Learn an extra 5 minutes of Torah, say a little prayer of your own words during Shema Koleinu in the Amidah. Reconnect with past rivals, and bury the hatchet! Buy a flower for your spouse. ANYTHING! These are OUR weapons for world peace! Let us bit by bit work on smoothing our rough edges and our characters, and we will be able to greet our Moshiach bimheirah b'yameinu!
Now I am definately for peaceful negotiations, and brother getting along with brother. However there must be a condition: We behave in a civilized manner and we recognize our territory. I heard one man say "Be master of your territory!" Well the Israeli government (more like junta or oligarchy) is anything but the master of it's territory. In girlish cease-fires, appeasing in a whiny way to America and Europe, and kicking Jews out of their rightful places, the government has no control.
Now comes the big daddy of them all: giving our territory to the Vatican.
Hmm, look the Church has tons of territory. Just go to the Vatican and see all the marvels, all the gold and silver they own! And they come salivating on OUR land, OUR city?
Hmm, how about a UN demand stating that Great Britain must give Westminster Abbey to the French, or America must give the Alamo back to the Mexicans?
Political writing is not one of my talents! And yet, I feel obligated to do my best to defend the honour and glory of our beautiful city, Yerushalayim!
Do anything, give an extra cent or dollar, euro, or yen to charity and say "Im doing this for Yerushalayim." Learn an extra 5 minutes of Torah, say a little prayer of your own words during Shema Koleinu in the Amidah. Reconnect with past rivals, and bury the hatchet! Buy a flower for your spouse. ANYTHING! These are OUR weapons for world peace! Let us bit by bit work on smoothing our rough edges and our characters, and we will be able to greet our Moshiach bimheirah b'yameinu!
Thursday, December 7, 2006
We are paper men!
Good morning! A lot of events have happened in this short week. Of course world-wide, Iraq is going down the slippery mountain. It aint a slippery slope anymore! Rat face Achmadinejad is rattling his sabres and the evil Baker is giving 'helpful' recommendations for Israel to concede more precious land. In my home country, a tornado ripped through North London injured 6 and left many homeless.
In our town, I saw a house on fire! Right next to the shul, while I was davening Shacharit, I heard tons of sirens. At the end, somebody pointed me to the window, and I saw FLAMES. A townhouse engulfed in flames and smoke! It was a miniature 9/11 right in our neighbourhood! The day before that, a driver with a suspended license crashed her BMW SUV into another apartment block rupturing the gas line and causing a major explosion and fire.
On a personal note, 2 very dear friends had to go to the hospital. One was going for a routine checkup, and the doctors found a blocked heart valve. The other one was leaving an exercise group when he experienced huge pains. He had a kidney stone. Baruch Hashem, they are alive and feeling great today.
Why do I say all this? To remind us, including myself -especially- that life is so precious and fragile. We think we are so strong and mighty, that I have all the time in the world!
However we are like paper men. We are so fragile and delicate that even 1 sheet of paper can seriously pain us if we cut ourselves on it. Just one slip of a knife, a sheet of ice on the road, one microscopic bacterium or virus, and we're toast!
And likewise, one minute it's a normal Tuesday, and the next, 9/11!
I especially am guilty of this, and have to refer to this blog thousands of time to push this important message in my thick lazy stubborn mind.
May Hashem have mercy on us, and may Hashem give us strength to understand and internalize these crucial messages and to wake up, grow spiritually and face challenges at our own pace and win!
In our town, I saw a house on fire! Right next to the shul, while I was davening Shacharit, I heard tons of sirens. At the end, somebody pointed me to the window, and I saw FLAMES. A townhouse engulfed in flames and smoke! It was a miniature 9/11 right in our neighbourhood! The day before that, a driver with a suspended license crashed her BMW SUV into another apartment block rupturing the gas line and causing a major explosion and fire.
On a personal note, 2 very dear friends had to go to the hospital. One was going for a routine checkup, and the doctors found a blocked heart valve. The other one was leaving an exercise group when he experienced huge pains. He had a kidney stone. Baruch Hashem, they are alive and feeling great today.
Why do I say all this? To remind us, including myself -especially- that life is so precious and fragile. We think we are so strong and mighty, that I have all the time in the world!
However we are like paper men. We are so fragile and delicate that even 1 sheet of paper can seriously pain us if we cut ourselves on it. Just one slip of a knife, a sheet of ice on the road, one microscopic bacterium or virus, and we're toast!
And likewise, one minute it's a normal Tuesday, and the next, 9/11!
I especially am guilty of this, and have to refer to this blog thousands of time to push this important message in my thick lazy stubborn mind.
May Hashem have mercy on us, and may Hashem give us strength to understand and internalize these crucial messages and to wake up, grow spiritually and face challenges at our own pace and win!
Monday, December 4, 2006
Dealing with the Shidduch Blues
Yesterday, I should have been in New York City. However I was home. The nice lady said last Thursday on the phone, that after chatting with me, things didnt click, and you know what....
Now I am a complete novice, and I have listened to my Rebbe, Lazer Brody constantly tell me that everything is from Hashem, the good and yes the not so good!
I believe this, and yet the emotions start to kick in. So much that I moaned to a wonderful shadchan for an hour about my fate. Baruch Hashem, she told me to wise up and keep fighting. Ladies and gentlemen, we must have emunah, and we must work on our faith and keep talking to Hashem.
And yet, we have to understand that we are still beginners, and that if we feel bad, that's normal too. In fact perhaps Hashem wants us to go through this bad feeling as a soul correction too. However we must not despair!
As a matter of fact, before I got the phone call, I was walking across the local golf course talking to Hashem saying, "Hashem, if this lady is NOT my basherte, then please have her reject me. HOWEVER, if she is my basherte, then please please may I get married to her as soon as possible and may I establish my family as soon as possible please!" So I got the answer a day later, and my friends, that answer was "NO, SHE IS NOT YOUR BASHERTE! HOWEVER I DECIDED TO SPARE YOU THE TIRCHAH, THE TROUBLE TO SCHLEPP TO NEW YORK AND BACK!"
It was a tough answer! Nobody, especially I love to be rejected. However once the negative feelings pass (and they will pass if you dont dwell on them), then you can start again fresh! Also, I had a wonderfully relaxing Sunday, and knocked lots of errands off my To Do List!
So
1. Keep talking to Hashem daily, as much as you can do!
2. If you experience bad feelings, it's normal. Just walk through them, like you walk through a rainy day, and dont pay attention to those feelings. It's also a tikkun too!
3. Find somebody (A rabbi, rebbe, therapist, shadchan, relative, friend) that you can confide in, and express your feelings to him.
4. Learn some Torah, or read some inspiring stuff.
5. Listen to some kosher comedy to make you laugh!
Keep on trucking!
Now I am a complete novice, and I have listened to my Rebbe, Lazer Brody constantly tell me that everything is from Hashem, the good and yes the not so good!
I believe this, and yet the emotions start to kick in. So much that I moaned to a wonderful shadchan for an hour about my fate. Baruch Hashem, she told me to wise up and keep fighting. Ladies and gentlemen, we must have emunah, and we must work on our faith and keep talking to Hashem.
And yet, we have to understand that we are still beginners, and that if we feel bad, that's normal too. In fact perhaps Hashem wants us to go through this bad feeling as a soul correction too. However we must not despair!
As a matter of fact, before I got the phone call, I was walking across the local golf course talking to Hashem saying, "Hashem, if this lady is NOT my basherte, then please have her reject me. HOWEVER, if she is my basherte, then please please may I get married to her as soon as possible and may I establish my family as soon as possible please!" So I got the answer a day later, and my friends, that answer was "NO, SHE IS NOT YOUR BASHERTE! HOWEVER I DECIDED TO SPARE YOU THE TIRCHAH, THE TROUBLE TO SCHLEPP TO NEW YORK AND BACK!"
It was a tough answer! Nobody, especially I love to be rejected. However once the negative feelings pass (and they will pass if you dont dwell on them), then you can start again fresh! Also, I had a wonderfully relaxing Sunday, and knocked lots of errands off my To Do List!
So
1. Keep talking to Hashem daily, as much as you can do!
2. If you experience bad feelings, it's normal. Just walk through them, like you walk through a rainy day, and dont pay attention to those feelings. It's also a tikkun too!
3. Find somebody (A rabbi, rebbe, therapist, shadchan, relative, friend) that you can confide in, and express your feelings to him.
4. Learn some Torah, or read some inspiring stuff.
5. Listen to some kosher comedy to make you laugh!
Keep on trucking!
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Beware of Commercials!
Good afternoon! I was walking from my synagogue to the Metro station. One of the shops I casually pass by is the local LA Weight Loss clinic. They have the usual photos of smiling people telling the world, "I lost 20 lbs in 2 months!"
Well, that Monday morning, I saw something that made me freeze in my tracks, and make my teeth set on edge in disgust! There was the usual picture of a happy fit person, that wasnt the kicker though. The thing that got me was this caption:
"Give yourself the gift that will make your friends say 'I hate you'"
Ladies and gentlemen, what is happening here? Is it worth losing weight so that you can make your beloved cherished friends jealous of you? I am all for weight loss and health, we all need to lose some weight now and there. I was caught up in this trend too many times, and still ache for a nice six pack of abs!
However, as a Jew, I know there are far more important values than having a nice sexy body. Wouldnt it be nicer for the clinic to say "Give yourself the gift that will make your friends say 'I am proud of you!'" or "Give yourself the gift to teach your friends good health by following your sterling example"
Having a good friend is a fantastic thing! We must not let Western society and the media confuse us by focusing on fleeting things. Keep healthy, exercise and lose the pounds, however dont forget to keep learning Torah, and improving your character. Then you will be a real winner!
Well, that Monday morning, I saw something that made me freeze in my tracks, and make my teeth set on edge in disgust! There was the usual picture of a happy fit person, that wasnt the kicker though. The thing that got me was this caption:
"Give yourself the gift that will make your friends say 'I hate you'"
Ladies and gentlemen, what is happening here? Is it worth losing weight so that you can make your beloved cherished friends jealous of you? I am all for weight loss and health, we all need to lose some weight now and there. I was caught up in this trend too many times, and still ache for a nice six pack of abs!
However, as a Jew, I know there are far more important values than having a nice sexy body. Wouldnt it be nicer for the clinic to say "Give yourself the gift that will make your friends say 'I am proud of you!'" or "Give yourself the gift to teach your friends good health by following your sterling example"
Having a good friend is a fantastic thing! We must not let Western society and the media confuse us by focusing on fleeting things. Keep healthy, exercise and lose the pounds, however dont forget to keep learning Torah, and improving your character. Then you will be a real winner!
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Something on Anger...Grrrr!
Aah, anger! One of the most difficult middot we need and must need to work on!
I have mentioned that anger will be discussed, so here we go. It is a big subject so I will most likely be posting this in installments.
OK, let's start with the things that get us angry. These are my Top Peeves:
1. People blocking the fast lane on the highway
2. Crowded check out lines
3. The computer acting up, freezing, or not installing my new software
I have to be so stupid! Giving up my eternity, my portion in Olam HaBa for these silly little incidents! Why cant I just grow up, smile, and glide through the INCONVENIENCE like nothing? What's going on here?
I am not a Rav or a Mekubal. However I can present to you tasty tidbits from good Rabbanim that I have learnt from. Basically we are put here to improve our souls. If I had a certain desire for women in a past life, then Hashem will arrange my life so that I will have to work on this desire, whether I like it or not. I dont know my past life, however I believe I was a loose cannon! This created a big blemish on my beautiful neshamah, that I have to fix now, while I am still alive, NOW!
It is this blemish that is making anger control a challenge for me! The only way to fix the blemish is to face the music, and keep cool.
The good news for people like me is that the more you work on overcoming a bad middah, the easier it will get in the future. It's just like bodybuilding. You start bench press weenie little 10lb dumbbells, then graduate to 15,20,30,40...until 2 years later, there you are with 2 very beefy 100lb dumbbells grinding out 10 bench presses!
The same with NeshamaBuilding! You first stand there sweat oozing, teeth clenched, thinking egregious thoughts, BUT you keep shtum! You are silently seething in rage, but you dont vent out! Big start....then you steam a little less, then you are annoyed, then mildly disappointed, then hmmm....2 years later, you are singing and dancing your ways through the checkout lines, singing to Hashem in the traffic jam (and you're in a hurry too) and praising His Holy Name as you get insulted by your boss.
Please do not expect instant success....like muscle building, this baby will take some time, but please invest your energy into overcoming anger! You can do it, and may Hashem bless your every move in this noble path!
This is one answer to my blog title. What am I here for anyway?
I also plan to give some more help on other areas.
I have mentioned that anger will be discussed, so here we go. It is a big subject so I will most likely be posting this in installments.
OK, let's start with the things that get us angry. These are my Top Peeves:
1. People blocking the fast lane on the highway
2. Crowded check out lines
3. The computer acting up, freezing, or not installing my new software
I have to be so stupid! Giving up my eternity, my portion in Olam HaBa for these silly little incidents! Why cant I just grow up, smile, and glide through the INCONVENIENCE like nothing? What's going on here?
I am not a Rav or a Mekubal. However I can present to you tasty tidbits from good Rabbanim that I have learnt from. Basically we are put here to improve our souls. If I had a certain desire for women in a past life, then Hashem will arrange my life so that I will have to work on this desire, whether I like it or not. I dont know my past life, however I believe I was a loose cannon! This created a big blemish on my beautiful neshamah, that I have to fix now, while I am still alive, NOW!
It is this blemish that is making anger control a challenge for me! The only way to fix the blemish is to face the music, and keep cool.
The good news for people like me is that the more you work on overcoming a bad middah, the easier it will get in the future. It's just like bodybuilding. You start bench press weenie little 10lb dumbbells, then graduate to 15,20,30,40...until 2 years later, there you are with 2 very beefy 100lb dumbbells grinding out 10 bench presses!
The same with NeshamaBuilding! You first stand there sweat oozing, teeth clenched, thinking egregious thoughts, BUT you keep shtum! You are silently seething in rage, but you dont vent out! Big start....then you steam a little less, then you are annoyed, then mildly disappointed, then hmmm....2 years later, you are singing and dancing your ways through the checkout lines, singing to Hashem in the traffic jam (and you're in a hurry too) and praising His Holy Name as you get insulted by your boss.
Please do not expect instant success....like muscle building, this baby will take some time, but please invest your energy into overcoming anger! You can do it, and may Hashem bless your every move in this noble path!
This is one answer to my blog title. What am I here for anyway?
I also plan to give some more help on other areas.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
New Rabbi Breitowitz Podcast!
Happy Rosh Chodesh!
I just learned how to do my first podcast! Baruch Hashem, I feel real good about this one, and pray that I am doing my bit to spread Torah and good quality learning for the Jewish internet community.
My Rebbe, Rabbi Breitowitz of Woodside Park Synagogue in Silver Spring, MD runs a weekly Tuesday shiur in Tanach and Gemara. We are currently studing the inner meanings of the Hallel psalms, and have started Masechta Beitzah (Beiyah) where we learn about the halachot of Yom Tov.
You can access Rabbi Breitowitz's shiurim here.
Or you can follow these instructions to load them into iTunes:
1. Open up iTunes, click the 'Advanced' tab and select 'Subscribe to Podcast'
2. Enter http://feeds.feedburner.com/blogspot/PSNU in the box
3. Wait for the MP3's to download from Ourmedia.com
Rabbi Breitowitz is one of Ohr Somayach's major speakers. Here is his bio on Ohr Somayach's web site:
Rabbi Breitowitz is the rabbi of the Woodside Synagogue in Silver Springs, Maryland and an associate professor of law at University of Maryland. He received rabbinical ordination from Ner Israel Rabbinical College and his law degree from Harvard Law School. He is a visiting senior lecturer at Ohr Somayach Jerusalem.
Download and enjoy the shiurim!
Meanwhile, I have to get ready for Thanksgiving.
I wish you all
1. A Gut Chodesh Kislev and a Chag Sameach!
I just learned how to do my first podcast! Baruch Hashem, I feel real good about this one, and pray that I am doing my bit to spread Torah and good quality learning for the Jewish internet community.
My Rebbe, Rabbi Breitowitz of Woodside Park Synagogue in Silver Spring, MD runs a weekly Tuesday shiur in Tanach and Gemara. We are currently studing the inner meanings of the Hallel psalms, and have started Masechta Beitzah (Beiyah) where we learn about the halachot of Yom Tov.
You can access Rabbi Breitowitz's shiurim here.
Or you can follow these instructions to load them into iTunes:
1. Open up iTunes, click the 'Advanced' tab and select 'Subscribe to Podcast'
2. Enter http://feeds.feedburner.com/blogspot/PSNU in the box
3. Wait for the MP3's to download from Ourmedia.com
Rabbi Breitowitz is one of Ohr Somayach's major speakers. Here is his bio on Ohr Somayach's web site:
Rabbi Breitowitz is the rabbi of the Woodside Synagogue in Silver Springs, Maryland and an associate professor of law at University of Maryland. He received rabbinical ordination from Ner Israel Rabbinical College and his law degree from Harvard Law School. He is a visiting senior lecturer at Ohr Somayach Jerusalem.
Download and enjoy the shiurim!
Meanwhile, I have to get ready for Thanksgiving.
I wish you all
1. A Gut Chodesh Kislev and a Chag Sameach!
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Father Forgets
OK, I want to post something that Dale Carnegie quotes in "How to Win Friends and Influence People". It is a beautiful little piece entitled "Father Forgets" by W. Livingston Larned. Read this before you decide to criticize somebody or tell him off, no matter how right you feel!
FATHER FORGETS
W. Livingston Larned
condensed as in "Readers Digest"
Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little
paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily
wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone.
Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the
library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily
I came to your bedside.
There are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross
to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because
you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to
task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when
you threw some of your things on the floor.
At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You
gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You
spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off
to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand
and called, "Goodbye, Daddy!" and I frowned, and said in
reply, "Hold your shoulders back!"
Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came
up the road I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles.
There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before
your boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house.
Stockings were expensive-and if you had to buy them you would
be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!
Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how
you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes?
When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption,
you hesitated at the door. "What is it you want?" I snapped.
You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge,
and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your
small arms tightended with an affection that God had set
blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither.
And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.
Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped
from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What
has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of
reprimanding-this was my reward to you for being a boy. It
was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too
much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own
years.
And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your
character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn
itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous
impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters
tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and
I have knelt there, ashamed!
It is feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these
things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But
tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer
when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my
tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it
were a ritual: "He is nothing but a boy-a little boy!"
I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you
now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are
still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother's arms, your
head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.
FATHER FORGETS
W. Livingston Larned
condensed as in "Readers Digest"
Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little
paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily
wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone.
Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the
library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily
I came to your bedside.
There are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross
to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because
you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to
task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when
you threw some of your things on the floor.
At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You
gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You
spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off
to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand
and called, "Goodbye, Daddy!" and I frowned, and said in
reply, "Hold your shoulders back!"
Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came
up the road I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles.
There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before
your boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house.
Stockings were expensive-and if you had to buy them you would
be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!
Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how
you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes?
When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption,
you hesitated at the door. "What is it you want?" I snapped.
You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge,
and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your
small arms tightended with an affection that God had set
blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither.
And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.
Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped
from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What
has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of
reprimanding-this was my reward to you for being a boy. It
was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too
much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own
years.
And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your
character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn
itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous
impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters
tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and
I have knelt there, ashamed!
It is feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these
things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But
tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer
when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my
tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it
were a ritual: "He is nothing but a boy-a little boy!"
I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you
now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are
still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother's arms, your
head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Some thoughts for today
It's lunch break for me, and I am taking some time out to update my new blog. By the way, I named this blog 'What Am I Here For Anyway?' because Good Morning World, Im nothing really special, just a man who G-d blessed with an incredible family, a beautiful flat in Bethesda, MD and most of all, giving me the most precious commodity in this world --- a Jewish Neshama (soul)!
I wonder and ask, well gee golly, why give little old me a Jewish Neshama! Why not give it to someone like the Dalai Lama, or Mother Teresa! What about Gandhi, Lincoln, Winston Churchill?
I cannot answer these questions, however I have to say the absolute truth: Hashem gave me, little Robert the Jewish neshama, and not Big Gandhi, Big Lincoln and Big Churchill!
This realization thrusts a huge feeling of pride and dread in me. On the one hand I am so great, I have this big powerful soul that makes me one of Hashem's princes! And yet, I am just me, yeah a little guy with an ego, a yetzer hara, and a desire to drive my jalopy at breakneck speeds on the Beltway! In short a man with passions, desires, and a knack for anger. (I will IY"H talk about anger in comming posts). So why did Hashem send me here to Planet Earth?
Rabbi Barry Shafier of http://www.theshmuz.com/ likes this situation to the following. Joe is a crane operator, he is short, squat and potbellied. However he controls a big huge crane that can lift 100 tons of ordinance like it was feathers! I go to Joe and say "Hey Joe, looks like you're eating too many dingdongs, and look at all that beer and pizza you chomp down on! How about coming to the gym, we'll get you into shape!" Joe says, "Yo man, I dont need all that junk, I can lift 100 tons!" I say "You fool! You cant lift 40lbs. That's the crane that's lifting the 100 tons not you!"
Hashem has given us this incredible body and soul. The body and the Jewish Neshama is a portal that activates the spiritual world. What we do with our body and neshama is reflected many many times in the spiritual world. However I am still me, I am like Joe the crain operator. Hashem has given me a huge awesome power and it is up to little old me, little Robert to use this power wisely. May Hashem give us the power and the knowledge to use our bodies and neshamot wisely, to control anger (more on that later....) and to be happy with our lot all the days we are on Planet Earth...Amen!
I wonder and ask, well gee golly, why give little old me a Jewish Neshama! Why not give it to someone like the Dalai Lama, or Mother Teresa! What about Gandhi, Lincoln, Winston Churchill?
I cannot answer these questions, however I have to say the absolute truth: Hashem gave me, little Robert the Jewish neshama, and not Big Gandhi, Big Lincoln and Big Churchill!
This realization thrusts a huge feeling of pride and dread in me. On the one hand I am so great, I have this big powerful soul that makes me one of Hashem's princes! And yet, I am just me, yeah a little guy with an ego, a yetzer hara, and a desire to drive my jalopy at breakneck speeds on the Beltway! In short a man with passions, desires, and a knack for anger. (I will IY"H talk about anger in comming posts). So why did Hashem send me here to Planet Earth?
Rabbi Barry Shafier of http://www.theshmuz.com/ likes this situation to the following. Joe is a crane operator, he is short, squat and potbellied. However he controls a big huge crane that can lift 100 tons of ordinance like it was feathers! I go to Joe and say "Hey Joe, looks like you're eating too many dingdongs, and look at all that beer and pizza you chomp down on! How about coming to the gym, we'll get you into shape!" Joe says, "Yo man, I dont need all that junk, I can lift 100 tons!" I say "You fool! You cant lift 40lbs. That's the crane that's lifting the 100 tons not you!"
Hashem has given us this incredible body and soul. The body and the Jewish Neshama is a portal that activates the spiritual world. What we do with our body and neshama is reflected many many times in the spiritual world. However I am still me, I am like Joe the crain operator. Hashem has given me a huge awesome power and it is up to little old me, little Robert to use this power wisely. May Hashem give us the power and the knowledge to use our bodies and neshamot wisely, to control anger (more on that later....) and to be happy with our lot all the days we are on Planet Earth...Amen!
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Good evening!
After spending countless hours reading fantastic blogs on the Web, I have decided that now is the time to get into the blogosphere myself.
I am 38, and working hard to serve Hashem the best way I can. One of the biggest challenges in this world is to keep your mind composed and focused. Thank G-d we have Rabbi Lazer Brody who is probably one of the Web's greatest masters in emunah training.
Before I close my first post, I want to talk about the difficult subject of when is one ready to make Aliyah? I have just come back from an inspiring Nefesh b'Nefesh seminar, and I am feeling gung-ho about leaving the good olde USA behind.
However, I have to make sure I am ready for this big move. We have the obstacles of giving up my day job, moving to a new environment, and just being uprooted.
However I believe Moshiach is on his way, and things are getting a little less safe in the US
Fortunately, Rabbi Brody, the master of Emunah, put it very clearly. He said "First build your emunah and ruchniut, and then find a good wife. Once those two are taken care of, then focus on Aliyah."
As important as living in Israel is, however we have to take care of our Emunah, Torah, and shidduch needs. Then we have a solid base on which we can build a new life in the Holy Land of Eretz Yisrael!
I look forward to meeting you!
After spending countless hours reading fantastic blogs on the Web, I have decided that now is the time to get into the blogosphere myself.
I am 38, and working hard to serve Hashem the best way I can. One of the biggest challenges in this world is to keep your mind composed and focused. Thank G-d we have Rabbi Lazer Brody who is probably one of the Web's greatest masters in emunah training.
Before I close my first post, I want to talk about the difficult subject of when is one ready to make Aliyah? I have just come back from an inspiring Nefesh b'Nefesh seminar, and I am feeling gung-ho about leaving the good olde USA behind.
However, I have to make sure I am ready for this big move. We have the obstacles of giving up my day job, moving to a new environment, and just being uprooted.
However I believe Moshiach is on his way, and things are getting a little less safe in the US
Fortunately, Rabbi Brody, the master of Emunah, put it very clearly. He said "First build your emunah and ruchniut, and then find a good wife. Once those two are taken care of, then focus on Aliyah."
As important as living in Israel is, however we have to take care of our Emunah, Torah, and shidduch needs. Then we have a solid base on which we can build a new life in the Holy Land of Eretz Yisrael!
I look forward to meeting you!
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